Fandom: Stargate Universe
Pairing: Everett Young/Matthew Scott
Word Count: 1,240
Summary: There's always that one thing that keeps you sane, and Scott finally realizes what it is.
Note: I'm trying to get back into my writing. I've been very screw-loose lately in my head. I don't think this fic does the pairing justice but it is my first peace of work for the series.
The corridors of the Destiny were dark even with the bright lights that illuminated them. It was like they gave off a feeling of gloom and doom, something that after seeing Atlantis, Scott didn't think the Ancients were capable of even imaging.
He didn't know why, but walking through the corridors with a kino flying in front of him and Colonel Young limping slightly to his side didn't make him feel any safer then his rifle pressed firmly against his shoulder did.
Two hours ago, during the daily morning meetings Young had said Doctor Rush gave the go ahead with further exploration of the Destiny; two airmen accompanied by a kino would scout ahead in all directions and mark of doors that led to damaged sections of the ship. An hour later a team would follow the same path and investigate all the rooms and areas in more detail and document the basics of what the area had and what it could be used as in the future.
“Did you find your rosary?”
The question was like a crisp cut of a knife; the shock of the silence being broken made Scott stop and turn his head to look at the source, “what?”
“You carried a rosary back on Icarus. You kept it hidden.” Young marked off a bulkhead to the left of them with large X's and then turned to face him. He was leaning heavily on his rifle that TJ gave him to use as a crutch but Scott could tell that Young was serious. “But you didn't wear it around your neck or wrist.”
“I kept it in my front pocket, sir.” Scott glanced at the kino which kept going ahead of them before glancing at Young again. He felt an uncomfortable pressure build up from the bottom of his chest and work it's way up as he watched the other man watch him. “I, uh, no sir. I haven't found it.”
“It's a shame, Lieutenant.” Young shifted his weight and leaned against the wall behind him and before Scott could reply he took a slow and steady breath and went on. “I was the leader of a SG team. I remember five years ago when the Atlantis expedition left, not knowing if they would return.”
“I've read the reports, sir.” Scott interrupted before thinking. He glanced back towards the kino and watched as it turned a corner. With the kino out of sight, Scott licked his lips and looked back at Young who was silently watching him and waiting for him to finish. “I, uh,” he took a deep breath and let it out in one large go as he relaxed his weapon and his body, “I even met one of the scientists when I went to Atlantis in San Francisco. A Doctor Zelenka, who told me how it was first hand.”
Young nodded slowly, not taking his eyes from Scott. “I know him too. He's rather friendly,” a small smile graced the older man's lips, “and his arguments with Doctor McKay are entertaining but that's not why I asked about your rosary.” Young stood up slightly, leaning on his makeshift crutch and looking up at Scott. “My point was, Matt, that they knew they might not come back. They took with them the little things that would keep them sane while they traveled the unknown. We weren't supposed to be here.” Scott looked down for a moment before swallowing and looking back up.
The older man was looking him in the eyes, unblinkingly studying his face. “Holding onto the little things that we have, even if we are starting to loose our grip on what they mean is important.”
“Yes, sir.” Scott said, primarily because of instinct and conditioning but when he saw the smile that his response put on Young he couldn't help but feel warm. It was a weird feeling, a mixture of pride and pleasantness. It felt like when he was five years old again when he's parents took him to Disneyland and he met Mickey Mouse, his hero at the time.
“Lieutenant,” Young started and then stopped. He stepped closer which caused Scott's pulse to race and his breathing to slow. Scott swallowed slightly back whatever feeling was bubbling on the surface of his skin while he watched Young's free hand raise in a fist, “don't lose the one thing that keeps you grounded here. Whatever it is, you hold tight to it and you don't let it go.” Scott nodded slowly and glanced at Young's fist just as the beads and the crucifix of his rosary slowly descended from Young's grip. Scott's breathing seemed to stop and his heart hammer in his ears as Young placed the rosary around his neck for him and smiled. “When we first got here, when you came to my side when I was thrown from the gate? You dropped it. We've been so busy recently it only occurred to me now to give it back.”
Scott swallowed again, looking down at his rosary after Young had placed it around his neck and then back up at the older man. He cleared his throat, regardless of the electricity that seemed to hum and fill his body and nodded softly. “Thank you, sir.”
He looked down at the rosary again even after he felt Young gently touch his shoulder and squeeze it and thought of what the older man had said. Scott glanced up slowly and watched Young limping down the corridor ahead of him, glancing now and then at the kino screen.
Young, at least from what Scott could tell at that moment, thought that his rosary was the one thing that could keep him sane while they traveled their unknown, much like the Atlantis expedition did before them. He hadn't know how Scott's faith waned back and forth or how every so often Scott would do something that he knew would be spiteful, something that would make him feel human and alive even if it went against the code of the religion he once so devoutly followed.
“Are you coming, Lieutenant or are we going on a break?” Young called, snapping Scott out of his trace of thought and memory.
“No, sir. On your six, sir.” Scott answered. He cleared his throat and raised his rifle to his shoulder as he caught up to Young and followed along side him.
Young might have thought that Scott's rosary was the thing that was going to keep him sane on the little adventure that mistakenly fell into their hands. But, what Young didn't know is that the beads, the crucifix, everything that made the rosary that now hung around Scott's neck meant nothing to him and it sure wasn't going to keep him sane.
Scott knew, the moment he saw the blood on his hands that first day when he held Young to him and screamed for help that he was doing it for another reason. Young was the thing that kept him sane and focused. Since coming to the Stargate Program and joining the Icarus project, it was always Young. And as they rounded the corner of the corridor Scott took off his rosary and let it fall from his hand as they went on.
After all, Scott really didn't need it anymore.